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I asked sex experts, along with everyday women, for their tips on how a newbie like myself should get started. But for beginners, Laurie Watson, a sex therapist in North Carolina, says a trick that always works for her clients is heading to a hotel bar and pretending to be strangers picking each other up for the first time—just make sure one of you reserves a room ahead of time.Then, there are always classic power dynamics to fall back on, like cop and criminal or doctor and patient—take your pick.(Unless you really do want to sleep with the mailman.If that's the case, that's a whole other story.) Once you've brought up the what, it's time to explain the why—and yes, sorry, this part is nonnegotiable! If you want to have a truly sexy experience, you have to describe what it is about that particular scenario that gets you going (the better you explain your fantasy, the more likely it is to come to life in a way that gets you off rather than makes you feel weird)."We were all good at playing pretend at one point in our lives—think back to your childhood and playing house," says Hannah D., a 25-year-old web developer from Los Angeles.
"I actually used to be a housekeeper when I was younger, and it was something I fantasized about but never brought to fruition," she says.What if your partner thinks that you need him to take on a different persona in order to get turned on or that your wandering mind means you have a wandering eye too?