Dating during recovery from codependency
There may be token gestures to help the addict get clean, but the addictive behaviour is not resolved, and the difficult life circumstances continue.
Indeed, the codependent often helps the addict to engage in harmful behaviours, helps to clean up and cover for them. Codependency is not always associated with addiction, but for those who are addicts, there is often a codependent.
To further explain, we’ll say that two people are dating. In codependent relationships, this is the “addict.” The second person focuses on the other’s needs to the extent that they do not think about their own.
This person is known as the “caretaker.” The pattern of behaviour that occurs between the two is known as “codependency.”Codependent behaviour can extend even further, so that one person is even making significant decisions for the other, telling them what to think, and ultimately limiting their ability to act independently.
While codependency and addiction are often treated in an addiction treatment centre, there are also steps you can take on your own to break unhealthy patterns and become codependent no more.
Following these four steps is a good starting place for both the addict and the caretaker:1. For both the addict and the caretaker, sobriety is necessary for significant changes to the codependent relationship.
As long as needs for health are ignored and submerged in alcohol or drugs, there will be little opportunity to make relationship changes.
When codependency and addiction occur together, the two behaviours can reinforce one another.They have had a role in maintaining the addiction, and maintenance of recovery depends in some part on changing the dynamic in the addicts’ relationships.You may find this resource helpful as you consider treatment options.For this reason, it is important to diagnose and treat codependency and addiction together.
The challenge in treatment is to objectively look at the behaviours of the codependent and how they affect the health, happiness, and well-being of their partner in multiple areas of life.More frequently, however, one person will have the more severe addiction issues, and the other will support them.